I stared at my phone, taking a deep breath.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I said to myself and finally tapped call and let it ring. One, two,
“Hello?”
“Hi Bob.”
“Oh, hi.” the silence hung between us a little too long to be comfortable.
“Um, I called to ask you for a favor.”
“Okay?” He waited for me to continue.
“I know it must seem really inconsiderate to not call or anything until I need a favor, but this is a little urgent.”
“It’s either urgent or it’s not.” He said matter of factly.
“Okay it’s urgent. I need to borrow a car.” my brain grasped for a justification, I should have thought of this before calling. “My car broke down, and it will be out for at least a few days, and I need to go to work, and a doctor’s appointment.”
“Woah, slow down. Sure you can borrow my car. I’ll come over and drop it off today.”
I let out a sigh of relief at his casual tone.
“Thank you. We can visit for a bit if you like. We haven’t gotten together in so long.”
“Sure.”
“Good. I’ll see you later then.”
“Bye.”
“By-”
Call ended.
I raised my eyebrows but glossed over it. Normal Bob behavior. I smiled as the thoughts settled. I was going to see Robert later today! I suddenly stopped, and looked around. I didn’t have a thing to serve him food wise, and I really should tidy up the place better. I looked around the kitchen and found a package of cookie dough. That would be easy enough. I thought as I set it on the counter. But I haven’t seen him in so long, he should have more thought put into his visit than that. I look at the clock. I don’t have enough time to make them before my appointment. I call an uber and look at the sad package of dough. I may not have time to make it before he gets here, he didn’t say a time. I looked to the oven and back to the cookie dough. I resolutely put it back in the freezer and pulled out two sticks of butter from the fridge. There.
I was dropped off at my house by an uber a few minutes before an unfamiliar orange car pulled into my driveway. I only noticed it because I was by the front door texting Meg the cost of the uber. I moved to the window and squinted my eyes to see who was in the car.
He got out of the car and rubbed his bald head with only a tuft of gray hair left on top as he looked at the house. I opened the door and waved shyly. He looked a little different than I remembered.
“Hey.” I called.
“Hi Thelma.” he smiled genuinely and opened his arms for a hug as I neared.
“Good to see you.” I said a smile in my voice.
“You too. Here’s the keys.” he held them out to me.
“Thank you.” I said taking them. I stared at them for a moment. “Want to come in?”
“Sure.”
I motioned for him to go in front of me. His strides took him to the door quicker than I remembered. He had always been tall, but I always forgot this for some reason. I met him at the door.
“Go ahead.” I said as he opened it. He stepped inside and held the door open for me. “I was going to make cookies, but I had to go to my appointment.”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to do anything for me.”
I felt a small tightness in my chest relax.
“I could make them while we talk if you want.”
“That’s fine with me, but you don’t have to make me anything.”
“That’s alright I would like something sweet anyway.”
“Okay.”
He followed me to the kitchen and I started to pull out the things I needed.
“Make yourself comfortable. Would you like something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Okay.” I turn back to my counter full of ingredients and open my recipe card box.
“How have things been going?”
“Fine.” I said distractedly as I flipped through the cards.
“I know it must be hard since Beth died. I’m sorry I didn’t come to visit since then.”
“That’s alright. I’m doing okay.”
“Are you sure?”
My brother knew when I wasn’t being straight with him.
“It’s been hard, but I have Be-” I stop thinking what to say next. I can’t tell him about what happened. “Bess. And Meg, and some friends at work. They brought me food.”
My brother nodded. I cracked an egg into the bowl.
“You know, having people who support you doesn’t make the pain any less.”
My throat slowly choked up as tears welled up.
“Yeah.” I croaked.
I felt his hand rest on my shoulder.
“Oh!” I nearly jumped, I hadn’t heard him get up. “Haha, you scared me.”
“Sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”
The knot in my throat grew thicker so I could barely speak. I nodded.
I talked and cried, and talked and cried some more. He listened. It felt so good to have him there while I didn’t have Bess. I usually don’t like to inconvenience him, but it just all spilled out, and I felt… safe. It was okay.
After the tears were mostly dried up we moved on to catching up. I talked about work, and the house, and briefly mentioned Bess and Meg. I tried my best to stay away from talking about them. The talking eventually led to our school days.
“Haha, yeah. I remember that. Where do you think that baseball shirt got to?”
“It might actually be in the basement or the garage. Wait, I think I saw its box the other day. It was labeled something like Robert’s Stuff or Sports Stuff. Let me go check.” I said getting up from the table. I glanced at the unfinished cookies and brushed it off, making my way to the garage.
I opened the door and scanned all of the boxes. The car. I quickly turned and bumped into him.
“Oh, sorry.”
“I thought you said your car was in the shop.”
“Oh, yeah, well, uh…”
“What’s wrong? What are you hiding?”
I melt against the wall under his questioning stare.
“I-”
He waits, still looking me in the eyes.
“I just, it’s so complicated. This wasn’t supposed to happen, and it’s all such a mess. I didn’t mean to, it was Bess, not me. I didn’t do anything.” The tears have come back, but with a different fearful flavor. “Please don’t be disappointed in me.” I nearly whisper.
“Woah, breathe. How can I be disappointed in you if you didn’t do anything? How about you sit down and explain.”
“Okay.” I say. We go to the living room and sit next to each other on the couch.
“You okay? Caught your breath?” He said as he handed me a tissue. I nodded and blew my nose. “Okay, now what’s all this about?”
“It happened yesterday.”
I explained it all to him and he quietly listened. By the end I had wads of used tissues stuffed in my hands. Bob’s eyebrows scrunched in thought.
“Will you forgive me?”
“For what? You did nothing wrong.”
“But I lied, and I didn’t go to the police.”
“That’s reasonable.”
My jaw dropped into a small o.
“Really?”
“Ofcourse.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Why? Should I be?”
“No, I just thought…”
“I’m not Mom and Dad. I’ve always been on your side.”
I look at my hands sitting in my lap a little ashamed of myself for thinking that way of my brother.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He sighed. “Well, I better be going. You can keep the car for as long as you need to, and call me if you need anything else.”
“Okay. Thank you.” I said. “For everything.”
“No problem.” he smiled.
I smiled back.
