The next day, at lunch, Ana continued the conversation she and Lucy were having over the phone because, apparently, Ana hadn’t pestered Lucy enough about Kayla. Lucy truly believed that if there was a competition for who could be the most stubborn yet encouraging friend, Ana would win it easily.
“I heard that Mr. Zitman said that partners for the project have to meet up sometime over the next week outside of class to start researching for the project. So, when are you meeting up with Kayla?” Ana casually questioned, placing a hand under her chin as she pinned Lucy down with a confrontational stare.
Lucy nearly choked on water and set her water bottle aside, coughing into the back of her hand. She turned towards Ana with a perplexed expression and tilted her head as she said, “Wait, did you mean Mr. Zimmerman? How did you find out what he told our class this morning? Are you actually stalking me and Kayla to try to get us to date each other?”
Ana laughed while shaking her head. “I’m not that obsessed with you two. Believe it or not, I have friends in astronomy and they talk about that class a lot. Mostly about how they’re pissed that Mr. Zit- I mean, Mr. Zimmerman decided to assign a project on the second week of school, which isn’t even that bad considering I got assigned two essays during the first week of school.”
“Well, I’ll take your word. Sometimes I forget that you’re a social butterfly because you somehow decided to hang out with me, the most introverted person on this planet,” Lucy remarked somewhat gloomily as she looked over at where Kayla was sitting. If Lucy had Ana’s social skills, then Lucy would be able to effortlessly flirt with Kayla instead of making a fool out of herself every time she tried to talk to pretty girls.
“Anyway, back to you and Kayla. Tell me what’s going on. Are you guys going to research together at the library? What’s the game plan?” Ana’s words were barely processed by Lucy, who was too busy watching Kayla stand up and look around the cafeteria.
When Kayla’s eyes swept over where Lucy and Ana were sitting, Lucy ducked her head down, determined to not get caught staring. It was bad enough that Kayla had caught Lucy staring on the first day of school. The last thing Lucy wanted was Kayla thinking Lucy was a creep.
Out of the corner of her eye, Lucy saw Kayla walking towards her. Ana noticed as well, jostling Lucy as she obnoxiously whispered, “Wait! She’s coming over now! She’s totally coming over to talk to you!”
“I know,” Lucy murmured, purposely avoiding looking at Kayla and Ana to seem inconspicuous. She met Kayla’s eyes only when Kayla stood directly next to their table. “Uh, hi, Kayla. What’s up?”
“Hey, Lucy. So, you know how Mr. Zimmerman wanted us to do research together outside of class? I was wondering if maybe I could come over to your place tomorrow afternoon so we could do research together? I would’ve suggested the library, but it’s closed this week.” Kayla didn’t hesitate to get straight to the point, which disappointed Lucy a little. Secretly, she had hoped that Kayla would at least attempt some small talk before bringing up the only reason they talked to each other.
Lucy fumbled with her words as she tried to explain why she didn’t want Kayla to come over. “Would it be possible for us to do the research at your place? I just… sometimes, like, my parents come home early and it’s, um, kind of awkward.”
“Can we please do it at your place? I have some stuff going on at home, so I can’t really bring people to my house,” Kayla’s eyes widened with hope and Lucy easily caved. She couldn’t resist Kayla’s warm eyes, which reminded her of summer sunrises and delicious maple syrup.
“Oh, okay. We can just do it at my place then,” conceded Lucy.
Kayla flashed two thumbs up and grinned, almost blinding Lucy with her adorable positivity. “Great! So, can you text me your address? Here, let me write my number down.”
She swiftly took a napkin from Ana’s lunch tray and scribbled down her number with a sharpie from the pocket of her jeans. After handing the napkin to Lucy, Kayla winked and walked away proudly, as if she knew that Lucy was staring after her with an open mouth.
“Lucy! Kayla literally just gave you her number and winked at you! She’s totally into you. Oh my god, this is, like, the greatest thing ever!” Ana squealed loudly, her voice directly piercing into Lucy’s ears and ruining the moment.
Lucy was well aware that she was smiling like an idiot, but she let herself indulge in the hope that Kayla had unknowingly given her. Maybe Ana was right. Maybe Lucy did have a chance after all.
Sadly, whatever hope Lucy had died several hours later when Lucy was helping her mother wash dishes after dinner. Washing dishes was Lucy’s chore on the weekdays, and, by extension, one of the only instances when Lucy was forced to spend time with her mother.
It wouldn’t make sense for Lucy to say she hated her family; she loved her family dearly and appreciated everything that her parents had given up to immigrate to the United States to give her and her brother more opportunities. However, Lucy had a hard time connecting with her parents, especially her mother who had very strong opinions that Lucy didn’t agree with. Thus, she tried not to spend too much time with her family, as the more time she and her brother spent with her parents, the more likely an argument would erupt.
That evening, while Lucy was washing the dishes next to her mother, Lucy decided to mention that Kayla was coming over just so her mother wouldn’t freak out when she came home to find a random girl in Lucy’s room. To avoid looking her mother in the eye, Lucy stared at the plate she was scrubbing with her sponge and cleared her throat. “Um, one of my classmates is coming over tomorrow so we can do research for a project. Is that okay?”
“If it’s for school, that’s okay,” Lucy’s mother nodded. There was a brief lapse of silence before Lucy’s mother spoke again. “Are you sure it’s only for school?”
“Yeah, Mom, she’s coming over only for a project. I’m not making any new friends. I’m too busy studying all the time, remember?” Lucy snapped. She dropped her sponge onto the kitchen counter and carefully set the plate she was cleaning aside. Her nerves were definitely more frayed than usual since she was still getting used to spending half of her waking hours at school. She could feel her mother staring at her back but avoided eye contact and walked away to her room.
Even as Lucy texted her address to Kayla’s number, she had a frown etched into her face. She hated that she was constantly reminded of how her life would never be able to be normal because even though she was inviting Kayla over, Lucy wouldn’t be able to open up to her family about why Kayla was so important to her. Lucy wouldn’t ever be able to talk about her crush to her parents and she wouldn’t be able to talk about her parents to Kayla.
It felt like Lucy had to shut off any form of connection between her home life and her personal life to make sure that she had a chance of earning her parents’ approval. Her conversation with her mother that evening had reminded her that her parents, her mother, in particular, had expectations about the people Lucy spent time with. Lucy hated that she was stuck in a position where fear was the only thing holding her back.
~
While Lucy had been very distracted by Kayla ever since she saw the gorgeous girl on the first day of school, she somehow became more distracted the day that Kayla was going to her house. The night before, Lucy had thoroughly cleaned her room, hoping that an organized room would be enough to distract Kayla from Lucy’s awkwardness. Despite this, Lucy still re-ordered the books on her messy bookshelf when she got home from school to prepare for Kayla’s arrival.
The doorbell rang just as Lucy finished wiping the surface of her desk clean. She sprinted out of her room to reach the front door before her grandparents could and yanked the door open. Kayla was standing on the welcome mat with her arms around her notebooks and folders. Opening the door a little wider, Lucy gestured for her to walk inside. “Come in! Please take off your shoes. Asian household rules.”
As Lucy closed the door behind Kayla, she noticed that Kayla was staring at her grandparents, who were sitting on the couch reading Chinese newspapers, as she took off her shoes. “And, uh, those are my grandparents. They live with us.”
“Oh, okay. Hi,” Kayla offered a small, one-handed wave and Lucy’s grandmother responded with a toothy smile. Overwhelmed with excitement, Lucy didn’t think twice before grabbing Kayla’s hand and leading her to her room. Only when Lucy stopped in her room did she realize that she was holding Kayla’s hand. and she quickly let go. Kayla didn’t seem too bothered by Lucy’s hand-holding and, instead, seemed more invested in admiring Lucy’s room. “Wow! Your room is so organized. Mine is a complete mess. Like, I have clothes all over my bedroom floor.”
“Yeah, I’m a pretty organized person. I like keeping my, uh, workspace neat so I can study better. Anyway, um, here’s my laptop. I can research and read off stuff I find, and you can take notes?” Lucy internally cursed herself for sounding too eager. However, Kayla didn’t seem to mind and she sat down on the floor and clasped her hands together.
“Great! Let’s get started!”
Lucy joined Kayla on the floor and, as Lucy read information about stars from her laptop, Kayla jotted down notes into her notebook.
When Lucy brought up the Cassiopeia constellation, Kayla commented, “Honestly, Cassiopeia is such a cool name. Like, even though it’s hard to spell, it’s such a pretty name. I wish my dad didn’t like the name Kayla so much.”
“I like the name Kayla. I think a constellation with the name Kayla would be really cool,” Lucy confessed wholeheartedly, peeking up over her laptop to watch Kayla scribble some notes down in her notebook.
“Aw, thanks,” Kayla gave Lucy a grateful smile before she continued, “but I think it’s weird that my dad named me after one of his co-workers at the doctor’s office he works at.”
Lucy stifled a giggle with her hand. “Wait, really? Are you kidding me?”
“I’m dead serious. I’m actually named after one of my dad’s co-workers. It’s okay. You can laugh.” With Kayla’s permission, Lucy burst into laughter, and Kayla shook her head in mock disapproval. “Listen, at least my name isn’t Smogralabod, okay?”
“Smogralabod? Like from the show Battles in the Galaxy? You watch that show too?” Lucy straightened with interest and Kayla gasped enthusiastically.
“Of course I do! It’s one of the best shows to ever exist!”
From that point on, the two girls were distracted from studying and began talking about their favorite sci-fi movies and TV shows. Lucy had no clue that Kayla was interested in the same genre that Lucy loved, and she knew there was no way to smother her love for Kayla because she was literally Lucy’s idea of a perfect girl.
There was a glint in Lucy’s eyes as she said, “Okay, but thoughts on the scene where the spaceship crashes on that weird sinkhole planet?”
Kayla pretended to be in deep thought, bringing her hand up to her chin, before she answered, “Weird but strangely appropriate. To be honest, I only liked that episode because Tara was the main character and I love Tara. She’s my favorite character in the entire series.”
“No way! Me too!” Lucy exclaimed and Kayla grinned back, making Lucy’s heart do little twirls in her ribcage. “And it’s really cool that it’s canon that she’s a lesbian.”
Lucy’s statement prompted Kayla to stare at her for a second, making Lucy think I shouldn’t have said that. Does she think I’m gay now?
When the brief moment passed, instead of asking Lucy about her sexuality, Kayla nodded in agreement. “Yeah! I think it’s cool too.”
Lucy tried not to let out a huge sigh of relief, grateful that Kayla hadn’t probed further.
Initially, Lucy had been nervous about hanging out with Kayla one-on-one but at the end of their study session together, she felt like she had nothing to worry about. Lucy wanted to spend hours on end just talking to her. Unfortunately, as the light outside Lucy’s windows started to dim and day faded into night, Kayla closed her notebook and declared, “Sorry, I think I have to go home and eat dinner.”
Try to hide her disappointment, Lucy shut her laptop and stood up. “Oh, that’s okay. I’ll show you out.”
Just as Lucy led Kayla to the front door and opened it for her, Lucy’s mom pulled up in the driveway at the front of the house, where the two girls were standing at the front door. Lucy held in a groan. It was just her luck that her mother showed up just as Kayla was about to leave.
“Is that your mom?” Kayla craned her neck as Lucy’s mom got out of her silver minivan.
“Yeah. Sorry, they came home earlier than I expected,” Lucy apologized, silently bracing herself for her mother’s judgment of Kayla.
“Lucy! Is this Kayla?” Lucy’s mom asked as she walked up to Kayla. In retrospect, Lucy definitely should have prepared Kayla for meeting her parents but to Lucy’s surprise, Kayla gave the perfect response.
“Hi, Mrs. Xi! I’m Kayla, nice to meet you. I’m just leaving. Lucy and I finished studying,” Kayla explained with a warm smile, and Lucy’s mom’s grin widened.
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Kayla. I hope we can come to your house sometime.” Lucy’s mom patted Kayla on the cheek affectionately.
“I would love to! See you at school, Lucy.” Kayla gave Lucy one last grin before she walked away.
As Lucy and her mom watched her as she walked away, Lucy’s mom commented, “I like her. She seems nice and studious.”
Hearing her mom’s remark made Lucy break into a small smile. Honestly, Lucy’s mother rarely judged Lucy’s friends positively. She always thought they were not respectful enough or not studious enough, but she seemed to have taken a liking to Kayla.
Lucy felt the corners of her mouth tug upwards as she replied, “I like her too.”
